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I am 34y.and i am in the middle of divorce after 6 years of marriage and also have a baby,but we are getting divorce because my wife hates my family and constantly puts them down which makes me feel very bad when i hear on the other hand my family does nothing but help in every single way.We had a big fight where she went crazy on me and called a police when i told her to stop cursing my parents,after that incident i filed for restraining order as well as divorce.The problem is that deep in my heart i love her and i know that she loves me too,I just dont understand the fact that why would person disrespect their partner if they love them?We are now seperated and she has the child most of the time thats whats really hard for me,I told her that i would drop the divorce but she does not want to forgive me the fact that i filed so fast for restraining order against her as well as divorce.I need your comments pls.write me.thanks in advance......
I think you truly love her, because even though she did what she did you still love her deeply beyond the relationship and I think it's worth salvaging.
I think in your hastiness to quell the emotions that were running through you, you decided to file a restraining order and a divorce and i can understand why in your situation you would do such a thing. it seemed the most appropriate to be separated from her. You both need to be away from each other and think things through about the welfare of your marriage and the welfare of your baby.
You sound like a good father and you want the best for your child and you want to see him/her more but you both have issues you need to work out especially concerning your family.
Your wife may feel threatened by them because she may feel shes inadequate as a mother because she does so much but your family does more and that upsets her, because as a mother she wants to feel like she can take care of her own kids.
The divorce hurt her because she feels like you don't care and would go to such drastic measures to keep her away and she's worried that if she gets back with yo and things hit a rough patch you may end up doing the same again. A divorce should be your absolute resort if all else fails and usual couples don't go through the process of dealing and remedying their problems, they just go to the easiest possible thing which is divorce.
You both need to get together and talk one on one about your emotions and you need to lay out EVERYTHING, there should not be a single loophole or matter unresolved, the goal is not to resolve everything but to bring to light what the issues are. From there you two can work on re-building your relationship.
If you need more assistance email me.
Tony Cupcakes
First of all..... she is a witch and you are better off without her. If you think you can put up with it for the sake of the child then do it if you have to. Other than that, get a good lawyer and get custody whenever you can.
Ignore her if possible too, nothing a kook like that says matters really.
She needs a psychiatrist, she sounds maladjusted. You might want to consider asking for shared custody.
My brother's wife is always lashing out at him and calling the cops on him. But she has an illness.
Either your wife wants to control you, or you are too soft. Either way you should go through with the divorce. And check your kid for signs of abuse, just in case you wife is sick.
If you and your wife love each other, or you believe that you do, suggest counseling. Have you and your wife ever sat down to talk, putting the anger and hurt aside, to hear the reasons why you both feel as you do. It seems like there must be a reason that your wife disrespects your parents (no that doesn't make it okay) unless she is just a cold hearted person. Is it possible that your wife thinks your parents "help" to much? Why did your wife call the police just because you told her to stop cursing your parents, either there was more to why she called (or she made up more to the story) or the police had a good laugh when they got there. Why did you feel the need to file for a restraining order? Did she threaten you or your parents? Why were you so quick to file for divorce after this incident? Has this type of thing been customary in your home? I think you need to take a little time to think about why you acted as quickly as you did? Did you see this as an opportunity to get out of a situation you have been unhappy with for a while and then regretted your quick actions? Talk to your wife and listen to her. When you have the opportunity, listen to everything she says and then para-phrase back to her what you heard her say and ask if you understood things correctly. If she says you did then respond, if not ask her to repeat it again to make sure that you are hearing her point. If she does this back and forth with you, it could help elminate misunderstandings as reasons for your trouble. Just for the record, you can withdraw your petition for divorce even if she says she won't forgive you. Maybe that action would be a good one, do you want to move forward getting a divorce if working things out with your wife and raising your child together is what you really want? Best of luck. HELP!!! I have Mold in my house!!!? - Yahoo! Small Business::
I would HIGHLY recommend, vacating immediately and finding a friend to stay with. as many people as you can to report the situation so the owner doesnt ignore
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You sound like such a wonderful man.. Obviously if you still love her and want to be her hubby its going to take time.. I think she just feels like now she can't trust you.. That's the way I would fell if it were my hubby and I. Just try your best to let her know you still love her and its going to take some time..
If you both love each other still, you must go to counseling.
There they will discuss the problems that you both have.
If you can convince her to go then you may have a chance.
Normally people separate for a period of time before getting divorced so that they may reflect on whether the relationship is worth continuing.
I am sure that you are very close to your family which is the reason why your reaction was swift and final.
I would feel the same if I was in this position . ( and I have been )
Do you believe that your future is with her?
If so You need to discuss with her why she hates your family and what you can do to resolve this issue.
A good counselor will help.
Don't give up.
Maybe for some strange reason she is jealous of them. Or maybe your family is too controlling? Ask her to go to counseling with you.
Perhaps she needs therapy to control her temper, and you need to learn how to cut the cord.
Continue with the divorce... There is absolutely no way to recover, or take back the things that have already been set in motion. Who knows where things can escalate to from where you guys are now
Sounds tough. Well, for one respect is something you both should have for eachother. Because if you dont, then you should not be together.It is not right for her to disrespect your family.I dont know all the details,but if she doesnt like them,that is her problem.tToo bad, because that sort of hurts your relationship between the two of you.She should think before she speaks and if its something mean or disrespectful,keep her thoughts to herself.Because that does no harm.If you are willing to work on your relationship with your wife, maybe in time you can ask her kindly to work on it with your family.
You both acted childishly, talk to her again she might
reconsider?
your ither an ******** or a pussy,
you two need to grow up
if i was in your shoes i leave and start over
w/o th bs
You need to help her understand this from your point of view. Ask her how she would feel if you were constantly bad talking her family. Some women really defensive though when you try to talk to them about real stuff so I would suggest maybe going to see a consoler and it will make it easier. If you both really love each other then you will find a way to work things out. Tell her that you still care about her and ask her if she's willing to respect your family and if she says yes she'll work on it ask she if there something that she would like you to do differently so that your both making an effort to accomidate each other.
I know this is the old line but write her a long letter explaining everything. Then read it. Take out all the parts where you call her names or put her down. Write it again. Now take out all the parts where you say "you always" or "you never". Now write it and give it to her. Ask her to respond back in a letter with out all the names and the you always/never. It's cheaper than counsouling and you can be honest without haveing to face her initial response. May sound like a cheap way out but it does work. My parents have been together through a lot of crap (I really mean a lot) and this is how they do it. Plus I have done it with my Hubby.
If you truely love her and she loves you, you both will make the effort to correct the wrongs and make things weork. It may take a long time and a lot of tears but real true love is oh so worth it. It's not just for fairy tales.
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What would you recommend in my situation?