I am 16weeks preg. and my fiance and I live in a small 2brdm 1bath house. His 6yr old stays on the wknds and the 2nd bedroom is his; here is my problem, his son will not sleep in his room, thanx to mom allowing him to sleep on the couch at her house, he does the same at ours (i have tried to enforce the bdroom to no avail), his son barely goes in his room, only to take toys out. I want to turn it into a nursey while keeping his bed in there with his toy box and belongings; but mostly a nice nursery...his son likes skulls and crossbones, I want soft and lovey, I have been told that I am pushing his son out and that it is his room and the baby wont need it for at least a year. I just want a place for my first child, his son doesn't even use the room, I can not rationalize it. If its not being used then why can't I do what I want to it?
It is your house. I would make a nice room for them to share. I wouldn't allow a 6 yr old to decorate with skulls and such in my house any how. Their is a lot of things you can do to make it nice for both boy & baby. Remember it is your house. A nice neutral green color on the wall and maybe cartoon characters or animals. Or a blue with sky and stars and planets. Or if you are having a boy as well then you could cars or trucks.
Perhaps you should give the son an ultimatum. "If you'd like to keep your room the way it is, you're going to need to use it more often. If you choose to keep sleeping on the couch, and only going in there to get toys and never to play, then we're going to redecorate." At least give him a choice, and if he chooses to pursue the couch option longer then I don't see why there is any issue with redecorating the room for a new baby.
WHo is the one telling you that you are pushing his son out? If its anyone other than your fiance, ignore them.
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Assuming its him - I would move the toybox into the family room. There is no need for a bedroom to have a toybox. Then decorate the nursery the way you want. Have his son's bed in the room, with whatever bedding he likes (not sure what other decor he has) on his side of the room, and decorate the other side with whatever you want for the baby. It doesn't matter if it doesn't match perfectly.
Good luck!
You can not push his son out but you can speak to the 6 year old and ask him how he feels. Maybe he wouldn't mind sharing and/or a change and the whole issue can be solved that way. Is there any area of the house that you can allow him to help decorate? Maybe he can help decorate the new room and you guys can meet in between.
Go to www.cadenlane.com. They have some bright different bedding that might allow some kind of compromise. As for the crossbones (which I find adorable) sweetin the deal by getting him some cool new shirts!
Well i would talk to your bf about it. Come to an agreement with him seeing it is his child. Ignore what anyone else thinks as long as your bf agrees on something with you so everyone is happy.
My daughter is five and I had a baby boy August 3rd. I live in a two bedroom apartment. I divided the room, one half boy, one half girl(as far as decorations). The funny thing is that my son is still in my room next to me in a bassinet. I'm also thinking of moving his crib to my room so my daughter won't get woken up if he wakes (she's in school). The odds are neither child is going to use the room, at least not right away. Maybe just decorate each space of the same room differently, that way the six year old still feels he has his own space. He may even be excited to share the room with the baby! Crisis! How Would You Respond?::
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Me and my boyfriend live in a small 2 bedroom 1 bath also.
We just had a baby girl, and we defintley need the second room for the babies stuff. There is no way all her stuff would fit in our room.
I say use the room as your nursery, you will need it.
Maybe once you start having baby stuff pile up everywhere he will realize that you have no choice.
If his son doesn't live there I would maybe store he stuff in the basement if you have one, and bring it out when he comes over.
Why make your baby suffer when his son doesn't even live there!?
This baby is his too and will be his sons sibling, so they not realize that??
Good Luck!!
Does your husband know that he never uses the room but to walk in and out of it to get things? Well this is both of your first baby together, and he should want it to have a beautiful welcoming place to come home to no matter if he/she wont use it for a while. You can still set up the things in there. Plus he is only there on the weekends and doesn't even sleep in there so what is it being used for anyways? I would put my foot down and say look this is my first baby and I want he/she to have a part in this house too, not just a crib in the corner of our room. If you have two kids living with you right now then that's just how its got to be, they are gonna have to share the room. And why does a 6 year old like skulls and crossbones for? They should still be liking super heroes and Nickelodeon stars...not things that teenage rebels wear and like...geesh. I wouldn't want that in my house first of all so maybe you can all sit down and agree on a mutual color that will suit every ones taste including something nice for the baby. GL!!!! Post Punk Kitchen Forums: Show us your mitts! / What should I do ::
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I'm with you, you aren't pushing him out, he is sharing.
Maybe if you put it to him that way, as he is "helping" you watch and care for the baby he may want to sleep in there. Why not have skulls on his bedspread and cute things in the crib?
well, they are right, the baby wont need the room right away, so given that you are only 16 weeks, i dont think you should stress about it just now.
but what do you plan to do with the 6 yr old if you decorate the room as a nursery? where will his things go, where will he sleep?
i would use the remainder of your pregnancy to persevere getting the 6yr old to sleep in his bed then worry about this later on.
Talk to your fiance and tell him that you can't see why both of them can't share the room since his 6 year old doesn't use it anyway. The baby will only share you room for about 3-6 months depending on how long you want that to last. Your first child will always be special to you and you want what's best for the child and you. It is fun doing the nursery and getting it set up. I think it just brings you closer to your baby. Sit down and reason with him and let him know that you will run everything by him first but you would feel more comfortable in fitting it out for a baby since his son doesn't use it. You can still keep his bed in there but you want to add stuff for the baby because you want private time with your fiance and you don't want the baby in your room all of the time. See how that goes over. If that doesn't work, get his parents involved and see if you all can come up with a solution.
well its not the concept of both getting what you really want its just trying to find the median. I mean his son does not sleep in there and he uses the couch and he just visits to me thats like a guest room for him until he goes back to his original housing. Boys will be boys with their skulls and pirate type things because trust me i went to that phase when i was a child with ghosts and ghostbusters. Your better interest is try to find a reason between you and your husband to find the right solution. The better way to put it to him is. Do you want to get up ever ten minutes from the baby crying seeing scary things or do you want a good night sleep. I think what you guys should do is to just paint the room one single color thats it and set the mood for the room and tell him that he can have his skull and cross bones but put those pictures or things no visible to the baby. Not in the sense of throwing them out put putting them to where he can still look at them for whatever reason. Actually you can do soft and lovley in a skull and crossbone way. there are many ways to make things that look like crazy but keeping it g rated i mean hey look at disney and how they pull it off. hope it helps
boys will be boys
best to just stay with your fiance, and not cause any trouble,
if the son wants to sleep on the couch, limit it to once a visit, it's rediculous for a little boy to be sleeping on a couch, and dangerous to his physical wellness
compromise time. you get what you want just smaller. Use something like bamboo privacy divider that you can move around. let him have a place for the skulls and stuff. When he is there you can move the divider some to make his part a little bigger. The rest of the time its all yours. ALSO: You are going to have to learn to share ,mommy! You sound very selfish and immature
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