I have a strange situation that I need help with! First off, my biological father passed away when I was 12. My mother then remarried my current father who adopted me when I was 17. I have one full brother and 4 half [legally through adoption] siblings. I get along great with my older half brother and my younger half sister and brother. But my oldest half sister wants nothing to do with my father or his side of the family. My Dad and her mother went through a nasty divorce and she took her mothers side even though she didn't no what was going on between them. Even my older half brother doesn't understand why she doesn't talk to him, and they are very close and she won't give any explanation other than she must have forgot why she's mad at him by now. Well I have attempted a few times to email her but could never find the right thing to say. I would really like to have some sort of a relationship with her, and I know she may not want one with me but I think it's worth a shot. So I need some help on writing her a letter/ e-mail. PLEASE HELP!!!!
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Wait until a major holiday such as Christmas or Easter (if you're Jewish, then Rash Hasahna). Simply send her a card in the mail that says happy birthday. Don't write anything except for your name on it, and get a neutrul one from Hallmark or something. Don't buy a card that's funny, because you dont' want her to take it the wrong way. Buy one that simply says Happy Easter or Merry Christmas on it. And don't send her a card on her birthday, but send her one on a holiday that everybody gets cards for. I have an uncle who refuses to talk to my parents, and this worked for us. Every Christmas/Easter for several years we simply sent him these cards. Then, we started sending him cards on his birthday to. He never replied for about five years, but eventually he called us to say thanks, and he wanted us to come visit him. I hope that you'll be as lucky as I was with the situation.
Hmm tricky. Well I would just be upfront and light hearted, easier in an e mail. Say you would like to see more of her and just leave the door open if she wants to get in touch, try referencing something that she and your brother did together and asking open questions, ones that she can't just answer yes / no to. I wouldn't mention your dad or the past. I would mention to your dad that you are planning to do this and check he's ok with it. Finally don't be offended if it comes to nothing, you tried, she wasn't ready. You can't get on with everyone. Good luck
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