Advice & support on Maternity, pregnancy, baby, Childcare and :: Your guide to maternity, pregnancy and parenting. Advice on trying to conceive, pregnancy, stages of pregnancy, giving birth, baby names, new baby, baby development, http://www.rollercoaster.ie/boards/mc.asp?ID=238068&G=35&forumdb=3HOME | last year, around january of 2007, my best friend miscarried her first pregnancy while her husband was deployed in iraq... she had a really hard time with it, but she got through.. now that her husband is home for good, they were trying really hard to get pg again, and finally, after several months, they concieved... 7 weeks into it, she had some bleeding, went to the doc, and he confirmed she did miscarry, but, she was pg with twins and still had one healthy and thriving baby... a week later, another test confirmed the baby was ok... now, at just over 9 weeks, she found out she has also miscarried the twin and is going in for a DNC on thrusday... she told her husband tonight, and will be of work for the weekend... what can i do or say to help her through this? they are not yet sure why she miscarried this time - the first time it was because she had only been off birth control for a few months and her uterus wasnt strong enough.. this time, they dont know.. they will be testing the fetus this week, once her [procedure is done to see if they can come up with any conclusions.. but what can i do for her, asside from just be there? how can i be as supportive and uplifting as possible, for her? they wanted a baby so badly, and i am sure she is still in shock and soon, the shock will wear off and she will be completely distraught... any suggestions?
A friend of mine had the exact same thing happen to her a little over a year ago. Even the twin miscarage happened to her. Although she suffered the 2nd babies death further along, and had to go through the labor process. They have yet to determine the cause. However she also had been on birth control for a long period of time, as well as taking mood stabilizer drugs for awhile. I'm no pro, but having a few miscarages myself and then the experience with my friend, all I can say is to love her. Remember that saying sorry tends to make a person mad durring a time of grieving. Try to listen a lot. Let her know and feel that the loss is important. A lot of women who go through this feel like its like loosing a full term baby. No matter what the opinion she needs to be allowed to feel this way. She may or may not ever know the cause. And if she tries again she will be scared the entire time. And mum down on the baby talk for awhile. Let her start the conversation topics. If she brings it up try not to state an opinion on the matter, just agree and remain calm. Right now she just wants the aknowledgment that this baby was loved. Finding closure is something she has to do aloneThere is not much anyone can do or say at this point to help her through this. Being a great friend is just being strong when she is weak, and listening when she needs it. If all else fails.... there is always ice cream! lol... Good Luck to her. Divine Mercy Prayer Room:: Life seems tough for me and theres been a constant battle with anxiety, doubts pray for me so that Im able to meet the right people, and make friends in http://our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/prayerroom/HOME |
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