My son "John" is in the second grade. Yesterday, he came home and told me that another child pinched his penis in the bathroom. He said he told the teacher, who pulled him and that child aside to talk to them. The other child admitted that he did pinch my son, so the teacher made him apologize and took the pincher's recess.
The teacher didn't send them to the nurse nor did she make the guidance counselor aware. She did however tell the recess monitor what happened.
I'm very angry by the situation and think she should be fired or at the very least reprimanded by the principal. Do you agree?
You have every right to be angry and upset. You absolutely deserved a phone call, and the guidance counselor should have been made aware. I would definitely make the principal aware, in writing, and I would cc it to the Board Chairperson as well as the superintendant. Good luck!!!
Why are two boys allowed in the bathroom at the same time at that age anyway???? Obviously, she knows she screwed up, which is why you didn't get a call... hoping your son wouldn't say anything in all liklihood.
As a school social worker for a number of years, I would never have withheld that kind of information from a parent, nor would I have supported a teacher in "keeping it a secret". This may not rise to be a situation of "abuse", but it is certainly NOT safe behavior in a school, and it absolutlety should be dealt with and not "left alone". Although I'll be the first to say that kids are not always honest, this kind of information can't be discounted and MUST be investigated. This parent deserves to have been informed, and she has the right to seek an understanding of what happened. I doubt anyone will get fired, nor does a parent have right to fire anyone, but the administration needs to be held accountable in order for our children to be safe.
Look, theyre in second grade..It's joking at that age..'I pinched your willyyy! he he!'
Don't worry. It might be equally likely that your son is going around pinching other boys twinkies as well...Would you feel so strongly about it being such a big deal then??
Fired or reprimanded? For dealing with the situation in an entirely appropriate manner? Get a grip. Would you be asking this question if he had pinched him on the arm? It was a bare body part and the kid was spoken to and disciplined. What, precisely, do you think the teacher should have done? Sent them to the nurse - why? Guidance counselor - why? Phoned you - why?
sue the school the pincher is a pedo
I think you should go to the principal and report what you told us. The fact is that kids at this age are inquisitive (is the offender a 2nd grader?) and it can be harmless. How did your son's penis get in touching distance of the other child?
I would be walking in to the principals office and demanding her in there as well and why you were not informed. I went through a bad school once where my brother was being harassed by the teachers no one believed him till I saw it one day. In the hall the teacher stood over him calling him stupid. my dad threatened the teacher and principal and got him to another school. not long after I hit my head on ice and was told to lay down and take a nap this was like 11 am by 230pm they figured something was wrong cause I could not stay awake and called my dad. Needless to say the school got hit hard and after that no school was allowed to touch us if we needed quick care they had to call 911 if they could not reach our parents. they had to call to ask permission to get slivers out of our hands form the park. I am sorry someone I dont care who touched your son inappropriately in his private spot. You need to find out more on this and why you were not called.
I think maybe you should talk to the teacher yourself first.
Perhaps, and I know you don't want to hear this...your son is lying.
Perhaps, you got a biased version of the story.
Perhaps, the teacher did what is appropriate for that age group.
Best that the adults have a chat first and get facts before proceeding.
*And this is exactly why I quit teaching. Parents that "hold your job in the palm of their hand" should you make one little mistake. Seriously, you would want this woman to lose her job, her livlihood over this?
ABSOLUTELY you should have been notified. I'd make a conference with the teacher AND the principal in the same room and get the situation in the open. I'd also make it known that my child was NEVER to be in the bathroom at the same time as this other kid (aka little pervert) at any time. I'd also ask that if they sit near each other in the classroom that one of them have their desk moved so they are not near one another.
This is entirely inappropriate. I think I'd be calling the other kdis parents as well and having a discussion with them about it. In most schools what this kid did would be considered sexual harrassment and he would have his butt suspended and pending a hearing before he could return to school.
Your son was sexually abused by the other child, although the abuse was mild. I feel for you! A similar thing was done to my son at the babysitter (bare bottom spanking and pinched penis to stop the flow of pee to the carpet) .Although we were furious, we kept calm to our twins' faces. We dealt with it positively with Teddy and he got through it without shame or emotional scarring. We fired our babysitter of course, but the teacher is not the perpetrator here and doesn't need to be fired. It sounds to me like she did everything right except calling you right away. Your son will benefit more if you are able to advocate for him and other children by constructively working with his teacher. The pincher might benefit too - he might just be a bully, but he might be experiencing sexual assault, and your reasoned approach with school staff might save him from a bad situation.
You have a right to be angry that you weren't told by the teacher immediately, but she did probably assume that if he was brave enough to tell her he is brave enough to tell you, which he did. If I were you I'd take a deep breath, sleep on it and call his teacher to talk about it directly. She did address the issue with both of them, didn't shame or blame your son, and did her best to immediately protect him on the playground. As a psychiatric social worker I can tell you that she did the right thing by your son emotionally in the manner she dealt with it with the boys. She clearly assigned fault, acknowledged that she considered your son seriously, put her authority behind an appropriate apology by the pincher and let immediate contact staff aware. This was awesome, protective and sensitive behavior on her part toward your little boy. She may even have contacted the principal and you just haven't heard from her yet. I agree that I would have been very upset not to get a phone call right away, but you can try to view talking to her as a way of influencing her policy and the school's.
Including the principal in a second talk with her that you jointly decide on will help both school employees understand your point of view and make a plan to tell the other boy's parents. Maybe you can help the school create or hire a program for the kids that would be concrete and specific about touching other's private parts, or bodies in general. His teacher did stumble, but she clearly dealt with the situation in a positive way overall, and it sounds to me like you can make a powerful ally instead of a permanent enemy. That will protect all the children in the school.
While it is far from a positive experience, you can turn it to good for him. Your son did exactly what he ought to do by immediately telling both his teacher and then you. So this is also a very good teaching moment - praise him strongly for his actions so far. Stress that it wasn't his fault that it happened, that he is a good person and being pinched on the penis will not damage him in any way (kids can get very weird ideas from vague descriptions of "bad touching"). The more positive your attention and attitude, the less likely he will be scarred emotionally.
It's also a good time to bring up how he has learned from this to always respect other people's bodies himself, and not touch them in unwanted ways or without asking. It will serve him well, because he will know how NOT to unintentionally sexually assault people. All boys (and girls!) need this information, preferably as preteens.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
You have every right to be upset. Parents should be able to send their kids to school and feel confident their kids are safe. Sadly that is not the case for various reasons but in this case, this is with-in the school's control.
First, talk to the teacher and determine what happened. If you find that the teacher might be negligent in her supervision/or following procedures, then meet with the principal. Let him/her know your concerns.
The parents of the other child need to also know so they can address the issue. They should be contacted by the school since it did happened on school grounds. The question is, is this kid doing this to other kids?
If anything, the teacher could learn from this experience in that they would know how to handle these situations in the future.
You are certainly entitled to your feelings- but I think it would be a bit overreactionary to try to have the teacher sacked. He or she should be reprimanded, I think, for not having called you. That was probably irresponsible.
But how do you know that the teacher didn't try to inform you of what had happened?
You may not be privy to all of the facts about this situation, so it might be proper for you to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt.
As a parent I can relate to your concern. I also feel though in my time raising a child(mine is now 21 year's old soon) that there are times when if too much is made of the issue the child will feel it's something to try to get away with again later on possibly as it's "forbidden" ,etc.
I feel that since the teacher DID talk to both of them and DID tell the recess monitor of that situation it was dealt with as needed to then.
In talking to them and taking the boy's recess then it's a way to show that action has a negative consequence so he should not repeat it.
If you want to, I 'd have a talk with the principal on the policies there to see how they handle such matters. I would also suggest talking to the teacher to see what they said to the kids on it as to how it was handled by them in that situation. I would try to get all the facts in this.That can be a chance to share your concern and feelings on it too.
I would be very upset. I would be talking with that teacher, the principle, supernatant and moving up as I felt I need to be. I would be living at that school to find out why nothing was done. I am with you totally. Let your voice be heard! That is your son! That is something that can not be let slide. It sounds like that other boy may need some counseling and it is a sign of problems that may be checked into! Maybe get DHS involved or at least a welfare check to that child's home. I just do not believe that is normal behavior for a boy. And should have been brought to your attention!
i believe something should be done about it. I think speaking to the principal or someone at least his stature about it. Teachers should not hold information like that back from any administration. The child could do it again. just taking a recess away is nothing. The better interest is to talk about it and be discreet because you don't want mass media attention or any attention drawn to the situation because it would create mass hysteria
No I don't think she should be fired or reprimanded. This was not a child touching or fondling your son. You should know by now that boys that age will try to pinch or punch or kick each others penis.
First if you haven't done so already let your son know that he shouldn't let anyone touch him there even if playing around & he shouldn't do it either.
Next you can ask the teacher what happened w/out being confrontational about it. Then just go to the guidance councilor just to let them know of this child's behavior just for the record.
Talk to the teacher first and hear her story. Then, according to what she says decide if you should take further action.
I think she should have called and let you know, and also told the guidance counselor because in second grade they are old enough to know not to touch other people in certain areas (at least they should be) and they need to find out why this little boy thought it was alright to "pinch" your son there. As for the teacher being fired, no I don't think that should happen, it was nothing she "did". She probably handled it how she thought would be appropriate at the time. But I do think the guidance counselor should be made aware of this.
Before destroying one's livelihood, get the facts first. A lot depends on the school's policy on such things. Maybe they don't have a policy and she wasn't exactly sure how to handle it. I'm not saying your son is a liar, but sometimes they do exaggerate. Seriously, talk to the teacher, get her side of the story, then talk to the principal if it's not enough for you. But, let's not get someone fired until you have all your facts.
You should definately tell the principal. They have no right hiding this from you.
i agree with you i felt she should reported it. The child should have been talk to about doing what he did .You never know if he will do it to some other child he need to be stop and let him know what he did was bad.And the teacher should be suspender for not reporting it but don't take her job .Jobs are so hard to come by but i fill may be 2 weeks off with out pay will make her think what she did was not the right way to go about it..
You ABSOLUTELY should report it to the principal and the school psychiatrist!
You should absolutely sit down with your son and tell him that he did nothing wrong and that NO one can touch his penis but himself or the doctor IF you are in the room with him and tell him it is okay.
Here is a REAL story of something that happened in one school district when they ignored the inappropriate touching of a child. It led to THREE rapes of little boys by a disturbed child.
"A 12 year old student known for now as F.H. to protect his privacy is being charged with three counts of rape to his six year old peers. The charge claims that he going into a bathroom stall and sexually assaulting a first-grade boy. What makes the issue so much more is that the school knew about the first rape, and did nothing. They knew they had a problem but refused to do anything about it. Instead of contacting authorities the faculty covered up the rape, and let him attend class as if nothing had happened. This is what led him to sexual assault two more first grade boys.
Parents of the children are disgusted that this could happen under the teacher's knowledge. They also are amazed that this could happen so close to home and that a student like this went to school with their children.
The parents of the children have filed a 15 million dollar lawsuit against the school district claiming their ignorance caused the rapes, and they feel that the school district is not holding any responsibility for what they let happen. The districts lawyer asked to have the lawsuit dismissed stating that the school can not be held liable because they failed to protect the students, ever though he never did dispute the rapes. This caused the parents to start an uproar over the case.
The school said that they covered the initial rape, to prevent any violence that could occur due to the issue. After being let back into class, another student witnessed him with the third boy. All the rapes happened over a four month interval, starting in December of 2003.
The law states that schools are not responsible for any damages if it is proven they made an attempt to protect the children. The student was found guilty in juvenile court and was issued to stay in juvenile detention until he turns 18. As for the lawsuit, it is still pending, even though it was stated that the school has a very low chance of winning the case. The judgment for the case to be dismissed yet before a judge, and a date has not been set.
This incident just goes to show how hard it is to hold up a civil law suit against a school district, when the school feels they have done nothing wrong."
I agree with the above answer. I would be really upset if that happened to my son and I would want some answers from her. I would just call her and be calm and tell her you beleive that she should have called you but I dont think she should be fired.
I totally agree with millie c. you are totally overreacting.i imagine it made the teacher feel very uncomfortable and at least she did something. no, she should not be fired. or reprimanded. kids are kids and they do weird crap. it's overparenting that's making kids into poorly behaved little monsters. just leave it alone.
I'd go with what the first person said.
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