New Statesman - The dark side of paradise::
Jul 17, 2008 "If they hadn't stepped in, the country would have disintegrated," one .. Let me tell you, having lived in China and possessing the
http://www.newstatesman.com/international-politics/2008/07/democracy-philippinesHOME |
I live with my partner of 3 years. He moved 4hours away and gave up his job working for his father to move into my home (which I am paying off).
Obviously, when he moved, he was unemployed for a period of time (8 months) during which period, I understood the sacrifice/s that he had made and supported him (charging him no rent, no food bills, no utility bills and provided him the full use of my car for which I paid the fuel). He sat at home playing XBox, watching porn and fiddling in the garden. He did contribute on an ad-hoc basis by purchasing groceries or the occasional coffee, sandwich etc. He did not assist with housework or do anything inside the home.
He decided to take up study - which he is now doing - studying three days a week and working on a casual basis the other two days.
I work full time (switched jobs and industry to earn more money to support two of us as well as continue paying my mortgage and the increase in bills) and I am also studying part-time at uni for a double masters. I asked him to assist around the house 'on occasion' - the odd load of washing, picking up after himself, putting dishes into the dishwasher - in his words, 'he's not my house maid'. He also told me that I don't take him to decent eating places (I certainly don't take him to McDonalds or fast food places!). He still does not pay rent or bills (except now the internet bill - due to his high download of porn content which I contested). He does contribute, on occasion, to the odd food shopping bill. He has also since purchased a car, for which I gave him the shortfall of $1000. He has since threatened to take me to court for part of my house and has insisted on keeping the $1000 for his removalist fees if ever he moves out. I go without items that I would like to ensure that we are taken care of first. I also go without time with friends because he insists that I make 'our' time a priority - but he goes to baseball, boys nights out, the pub whenever the urge suits. I am becoming extremely resentful of being told that I am selfish and that I am a *****. I have bent over backwards for this guy and he appears to be nothing more than a spoilt, unappreciative, ungrateful brat. (Oh, did I mention having to call the police when he decided to lose his temper and think it was ok to lift his hand to me, to smash the tv, the pedestal fan and to put a hole in the wall and then refuse to leave my house but think it ok that I sleep in the car for the night). Tell me, what the hell is in his head? And he says he loves me? I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm continuously questioning myself - but deep down I know that I am right and I am ok, nothing I have done or asked has been too much - I feel I am being used...a meal ticket? Chicago Journals - Journal of Consumer Research::
Two of them, having limited wants and appearing unappreciative, .. For me, if I don't have to see the person open the gift then I feel better because if
http://www.journals.uchicago.edu/cgi-bin/resolve?JCR270106HOME |
Reader's Comments: Flood towns complain about SES as looters move ::
Jun 12, 2007 Remember my details. (So you don't have to retype your details each time you send feedback.) Email me if my comment is published
http://www.news.com.au/comments/0,23600,21891318-2,00.htmlHOME |
Girlfriend,
??????????? no! Kick him to the ???????????curb. He is on a free ride all the way to the moon and he knows it. And girl there is no way on this God's green earth that he could take any thing away from you that you did on your own . Is he high or what. Girl, don't worry you got to leave me. You don't need that. That's your home not his. If does not leave call the cops, when he's in another room or something and tell them that he punches holes in the walls , and that he's threaten you and that you had told him to leave and he won't, Girlfrien goodluck. You don't need any one like that . Girl, you work to ?? for your money to just give it away to someone who does it give a hoot! It's disrespectful::
10 posts - Last post: Dec 2, 2006If he is feeling like you are then have the son and girlfriend sit down with both of you and tell him why you are concerned and that you
http://www.suite101.com/discussion.cfm/partnersandparents/86113HOME |
It doesn't sound like he loves you a lot.
I need inputs for my question. thx
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
I only read the first half, but it sounds like this guy is just damn lazy and doesn't feel the necessity to pull his weight. It takes two to tango, let him know that he needs to support you more or get out. Do you want to put up with this for the rest of your life? Little things that annoy you now will only continue to get bigger and bigger as time goes by. You're not his mother.
Kick him out and do it NOW! I don't know where you live but I was in a similar position and i had to evict my ex from my house because we shared an address but I owned the house! You are being used. He may have loved you when things started and the initial move but he doesn't respect you anymore so it's not worth it.
you need to get rid of him,if everything is in your name and you are not married to this fine hard working man than he gets nothing if you are tired of it cut him loose good luck
I would kick him to the curb!
Run, Forrest, run!! You have been helpful and expected an equal contribution to your household, but he hasn't come to the table. Without the violence, this is a common cause for relationship breakdown (not only love relationships) - that both sides have different values and expectations from the partnership. Some would argue that by not being upfront about the issue from the start and making your expectations clear you have enabled his bad habits. However the fact that he has a violent temper and that you were first in line speaks volumes. Unless you seek counselling (doesn't sounds like he'd be keen though from what you've said), or kick him to the kerb, nothing is going to stop this poisonous cycle. It's not healthy for either of you so if you can get him out of your house, please do so. Then you can resolve the issue, if possible. He's been getting a free ride - if he can bully you into keeping on paying, he's going to keep doing so. You deserve better.
He's taking you for a ride. Get out of this asap! I don't think your relationship would last very long, the more you stay together, the more pain and misery it'd cause.
HAve courage and break out!
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Help me, please! I have what I deem a very unappreciative partner...tell me if I'm wrong...? 
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